Saturday, November 24, 2012

MS Coast Half Marathon - 2012

Have I ever revealed my hatred of running? It is profound. And deep seated. I hate the sweating. I hate the breathing. I hate the tedium of an endless rhythmic gait. And I hate the ungodly slow boredom of miles creeping under my feet.Yet, lunatic that I am, I take it upon myself to run a half marathon this morning. Deep. Seated!

Started off cold. Low forties. Somewhere around six hundred frozen tots enjoyed the freezer burn, too. Me all blacked out. Including OJ-style beanie. Grizzly from NoShaveVember. Either running thirteen something miles today or getting sized up for a pair of Buno Magli shoes. Probably more socially responsible to run. So I ran.

First three miles rocked. All ha ha and fun fun. By the time I said goodbye to Mr 5K, I'd lost the sleeves. And the gloves.

The second three miles started to get on my nerves. Well, mainly it was the knife-like wind howling down from the arctic that gnawed on my face and chest. But what's a little bitey bitey between friends? So I don't hold any grudges.

Third set of three miles. That's when the relation started to sour. Was still sticking to the intervals. But they were getting harder. And the voice of the lizard started to buzz in my good ear.  You know, that ancient reptilian bastard that doesn't like fitness, challenges or personal improvement. Sneaky thing, he is. Loves to eff with my head. But I didn't listen those first 9 miles. No much at least.

Last set of miles. (sigh) They sucked. Because they were actually four miles. Plus point one tacked to the end. For good measure. 4.1 miles of double extra suckitude. At mile 9, the lizard personally builds a huge brick & mortar wall in front of me. Stands atop it and declares: YOU SHALL NOT PASS! Little green bastard then proceeds to scream in my ear with each step. Telling me I cannot do it. Telling me I ain't got the chops. And telling me that I need to stick with being a geek, because I'm no damn athlete! Four point one miles of that. Trying to figure out why I shouldn't quit running. Do my legs hurt? No. Breathing off? No. Cramps? No. Dehydrated? No. So WHY QUIT? Because of that damn lizard! Standing atop the wall of my private fears. Telling me how bad I am.

That's exactly how it went down. Exactly. But, skip to the end. Two thousand calories later. I finished! Goal of 2:15:00. Actual time of 2:19:30 something. 175th place. Despite the wind. Despite my recent injury. And despite the lizard. I finished. Another notch on Ol' Jon's belt.

So. On to the next adventure.
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