Monday, May 10, 2010

Plan C? D? And E?

The 100-ton, 4-story-tall, steel and concrete container failed. Pressurized natural gas combined with the freezing seawater and gave birth to some kind of icy spooge that clogged up the whole thing in a manner of minutes. The oil is seeping out around it, unfazed.

BP says that Plan C is to use a smaller widget. A "top hat" shaped device that will cover one of the leaks because it is less likely to clog. My money says the pressure will effectively keep it from sitting in place properly.

Plan D is to pierce a lower portion of the piping with a "hot tap" and siphon off the oil. Not sure if that's ever been done effectively before now. And if it has, I doubt it has been done at 5000'.

And Plan E is to keep jamming objects into the pipe until it is so clogged it stops. Tires and golf balls and sponges made of hair. Seriously. That's their plan.

I'm gong to suggest Plan F will be to train some dolphins to plunge themselves, Kamikaze-like into the pipe. They'll do anything for us. And Plan G will be to nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

Meanwhile, we've got upwards of four million gallons of Earth's finest oil floating in the Gulf of Mexico. Thankfully, it hasn't touched ground in MS, yet. LA has some on its beaches. AL is waiting for us to get our toes dirty. And FL is hoping the power of prayer defends them from the worst of it.

I'm guessing we have another week or two in the headlines. After that, Americans will want something new and interesting to keep them worried. Maybe the stock market. Or a government sex scandal. But this whole "oil in the Gulf" thing is rapidly starting to bore them. See how quickly they've already forgotten about the 11 dead oil workers?

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