Saturday Morning

Six in the morning. The mind is willing. But the body is weak. Not firing on all cylinders as I hit the water. Too much mental noise. Only three of us swimming. I'm too slow to draft them.  Doubts lingering behind my eyes. Fear simmering slowly. Up from my belly. Thinking about everything except swimming. No focus so fear. Just reaching out and dragging myself through the lake, ten thousand times just to make 880 meters.

Follow it up with an equally pitiful ride. Chewed through my inertia by the midway point. Couldn't find the right gear. Or a second wind. Relegated to last place. Of six riders. Couldn't get comfortable or keep up. 

Started to cut my ride short. Wanted to throw in the proverbial and meet everyone at the cars. Made the motions, but a hundred feet later told myself not to give up. Just finish it right. Regardless of what place I'm in or how long it takes. Just practice. None of that matters. Just go the distance. And do - not - quit. 

So I didn't quit. I turned around again. Back on the course. And eventually, I finished.  Not the pace or performance I wanted. But I didn't quit. So I'll chalk it up as another small victory. Need all of them that I can get!