Saturday, June 21, 2008

MOVIE: Half Light

I think Half Light's marketing people were counting on two target audiences to help recoup the cost of Demi Moore's payday:
1) People who thought this was the sequel to 1990's Ghost, but without Patrick "Nobody puts Baby in a corner!" Swayze.

2) People like me who mis-read the title and thought they were renting a movie-adaptation of Half-Life.

As far as plot: Demi's character, a writer, loses a child, moves to Scotland, and proceeds to do the no pants dance with a swarthy local on an deserted light-house-bearing island. Unlike the sci-fi game-based movie I thought I was renting, Half Light is supposed to be a supernatural thriller romance. In actuality it isn't super, it isn't really thrilling, and the romance is more shallow than Hilary Clinton's concession speech.

The acting was marginal, at best. The pacing was glacial. The dialog was forced and unnatural.
The plot, while almost interesting in parts, wasn't even remotely believable once all the pieces were assembled. Whomever wrote this needs to see if their former job at the Oxygen Network is still available.

Perhaps it is a tolerable Chick Flick and could do well on Lifetime Television. But it isn't anything men or children will want to see. And it fell way short of the game I thought I was renting. Instead of a protagonist that bears an uncanny resemblance to me, I get a flimsy snoozefest that resembles a failed attempt at a Hitchcockian Scottish snog film. I'll take that bespectacled hero Gordan and his crowbar ANY DAY!

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