Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Tick Tock

My head is ticking. Like a pulse behind my eyes. Winding down the seconds. A slow count for the imminent cerebral detonation. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick. Tock.

Third night (out of four) without much sleep. Read too much. Not tired enough. Liam crept into our bed at 0200. Wrestling me for covers and space. My alarm blaring at 0500. Working by 0600. The downtime went sour by 0700. Had to reschedule for tomorrow morning. Another night of diminished rest. Tick tock.

Half day of school for the kids. Molly goes to get her tubes tied. Cindy calls crying to tell me she paid $12 for pain killers for her. You can spend $12, baby. Helps the dog feel better? Party on! Tick.

Meanwhile. Phantom problems creeping through the network. Fingers pointing in every direction. Phone calls coming in. Emails coming in. Instant messages. Tickets. Boss visiting for updates. Nobody knows what broke. Or why. While I try to leave at a decent hour. "Been here since six!" Tock.

Another poor performance at the gym. Trying to work shoulders. No patience. No motivation. Energy levels nearly absent. Forced through it. Fighting for every rep and set. Tick. Tock.

An Xmas gift for Dad. My parents 42nd anniversary. Singing to Pearl Jam on the ride home. Newfound respect for some of the songs. Different perspective twenty years down this road. Early presents. A mouse pad from Liam. My Dad, My Hero. Keychain light from Meg. #1 Dad. Some of Liam's furniture arrives tomorrow. Another downtime. Another attempt at the gym. Another Christmas dinner with the family. Another Christmas party with co-workers. And hopefully some booze. A drink or two to numb the count down. To quiet this damn ticking.
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