Untired

Meg is out like a fat kid playing dodgeball. All sprawled across the sofa. Completely oblivious to the world around her. Wish I could sleep like that. But nothing resembling sleep approaches.

I should be tired. I tried a new gym routine from Men's Health for the first time. An eight week program. Circuit training at first. Thirty minutes of it broke me out in the same sweat that usually takes me two hours to build up. Squats for the first time in my life. Only 80lbs, but it is a start. I'm worried about blowing out a disk. Taking it slow. Did lunges, too. I know why I've been avoiding them, now. Tricky suckers. Eight weeks, it says. I'll see how it goes. One day at a time.

I wish I could sleep like my kids. I wish I could just abandon myself like that for a couple of hours. Sweep everything under the rug and relax for a while. But it is all barbwire and spotlights behind my eyes.