Friday, January 18, 2008

Why there's no need to see Untraceable

A) The tag line "A cyber killer has finally found the perfect accomplice: you" is fruiter than Hawaiian Punch.
B) The plot was obviously NOT written by somebody familiar with technology, because any first level fresh-out-of-college techsupport weasel could tell you, "Nothing is untraceable." And I've little doubt the producers will try to come up with some pseudo technical hogswill to try to unsuccessfully convince me otherwise.
C) THE PREVIEW TELLS THE WHOLE STORY! Why do I need to see it, when I know the whole plot and conclusion already: An ubercreepy hax0r cum-serial killer is going to cybercast in-process murders and the killing accelerates as more viewers hit the site. The FBI has to stop the killer. The killer outsmarts all of them. The killer stalks the best agent (Diane Lane) and her daughter. The agent almost gets put on a webpage of her own, but the killer somehow turns out to REALLY be Wile E. Coyote, and Diane Lane tricks him into defeating himself, but just barely.

Thanks to the brilliance of the guy who spelled out the whole story in the span of a 1min previesw, I saved 1.5hrs and $5.

Note to movie industry: DON'T SHOW ME THE WHOLE DAMN STORY!
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