My Pending Director Position

Yesterday, the data center in Las Vegas unexpectedly lost power. The grid just dropped offline. Neither of the generators spun up. All the UPS batteries started screaming. Their howl slowly died as they were drained dry. And every server that hadn't been shutdown took a dirt nap. Meanwhile, since nobody could find a key to the utility room, they had to drill out the locks. Shortly thereafter, the grid came online. And there was much rejoicing.

I immediately seized upon the moment and started to try to climb the corporate ladder. I wrote to several VPs and Executives:

"Where can I put in for Executive Director Of Power & Electrical Services? Surely such a position is needed to meet the explosive growth [our company] is now experiencing. I can deliver all the appropriate policies and procedures, build upon inherent synergies between the excellence of our staff and static cling, train the corporation to maximize our passive power yields, and I will significantly increase the ROI on our electric expenditures.

I’ll only need a modest but sycophantic staff of eight, a Swedish personal admin, and a Monster Truck."

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