Thursday, January 22, 2009

MOVIE: The X Files - I Want To Believe

The X Files - I Want To Believe didn't do well at the theater. It didn't break $30M at the box office. This is likely due to the fact that it was a horrible, third-term abortion of a movie. It would have sucked for a one hour episode seen for free on television. It Double Extra Value Meal sucked as a full blown movie.

Acting? Abysmal. Writing? Pathetic and unmotivating. Dialog? Rehashed from the worst parts of original nine seasons, especially the completely useless and tired lines about Mulder's long-since-dead sister. Action? Snooze fest. Effects? Juvenile at best, inducing a gag reflex the rest of the time. Any redeeming value what so ever? None. A blight on the genre.

The fact that Chris Carter was actually involved with this rotting corpse of a movie is unimaginable to me. It was a disgrace to the original series. It would be like Michelangelo taking an explosive, steaming dump all over the David.I can only guess he took the gig strictly for the money. Maybe he has cancer. If I had brain cancer that resulted in rancid grey matter slowly leaking from my ears, I would be able to write something as pathetic as The X Files - I Want To Believe.

Very disappointing movie. One of the few that I'm glad I didn't see on the big screen. Not a date movie. Not something to show the kids. If I had the money, I'd buy every copy in Mississippi and melt down to slag. Nobody should be exposed to this failure of a film. It borders on capital punishment. Cruel and unusual capital punishment.

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